Did I sign up for this?

I lasted all of about two pages into my first CLP reading material before I found my head exploding with newfound insight.

I don't want to change. I like my theology where it is. Its not complicated. I don't need to be challenged.

I've been thinking lately that there was some piece of the equation that I was missing - some elusive tidbit that could help me to understand how come my Christianity doesn't sound like anyone else's description of the religion. Two pages into my first CLP reading and there was the answer. But...

I don't want to change. I like my theology where it is. Its not complicated. I don't need to be challenged.

I was watching Stephen Hawking's latest science program on the science channel explaining why there is no need for God in the equations explaining how the universe was created and how it continues to evolve and exist... except that his explanation was so fantastical that it made most religious explanations for the origins of the universe look almost boring by comparison. How does one explain to a great mind like Stephen Hawking that he may have math on his side, but his explanation of how the universe works makes it EVEN MORE likely that God had a hand in it? Why is it that great minds insist that there is no God when the evidence is all around them staring them in the face? These questions have left me thinking about the short comings of my own religion and wondering how one counteracts the general disbelief in the most obvious things in the modern world... and it made me realize that...

I don't want to change. I like my theology where it is. Its not complicated. I don't need to be challenged.

So here I am... two pages into my first article and I read that our job as theologians is to read the scripture, interpret it, and then seek feed back from the rest of the congregation - to create a dialog with Christ at the center (I'm paraphrasing quite a bit here). It was that last part, the part about the feedback, that suddenly made me realize what piece of the puzzle I'd been missing. I read the rest of the article with great relish... I was actually learning something NEW about religion - something I had suspected was out there but that I hadn't yet articulated in my own mind... And Then The Breaks Went On And...

I don't want to change. I like my theology where it is. Its not complicated. I don't need to be challenged.

What The Heck?! One article and my faith is being changed. One article and my theology is being advanced. One article and my world view is becoming more complicated (and simplified at the same time, but only if I stop resisting). One article and I'm already being challenged! Is this what I signed up for? Is This What God Had In Mind For ME?

I don't want to change. I like my theology where it is. Its not complicated. I don't need to be challenged.

Where is this all going? How much does God expect me to change? Will I become some sort of Christian Zombie parroting back theology to the masses? Will there be any part of Will left? Am I being transformed against my will?

I imagine Frodo was perfectly fine with leaving the Shire with Sam, perfectly fine with packing up his sack, grabbing some maps, taking the ring, and heading for some far off tavern to meet Gandalf. It was probably all perfectly fine until the Ring Wraiths arrived and Frodo had the first inkling that perhaps all was not perfectly fine, that this was a journey that he wasn't likely to embark upon and return the exact same person. This was not some trip to the market, or the bar, or even to visit a distant cousin... this was a journey of transformation. And between running for the Buckland Ferry and dodging dark horse hooves, I wonder if the dawning realization caused Frodo to pause, even momentarily, and wonder if it wasn't too late to turn around and head back to the Shire.

But, of course, he couldn't. And, of course, I can't... nor do we really want to. Frodo must know that this is the time to embrace his destiny... and so, for what ever reason, it is time for me to become whatever it is that God wishes me to become.

I'm ready to change. I'm ready to take my theology to new places. I'm ready to embrace a complicated world view. I'm ready to be challenged.

And so, I say... bring on the next article and let the transformation begin.