A Holiday Message From The 99%...

With profound apologies to Dr. Suess...
And Thurl Ravenscroft...

A Holiday Message To The One Percent

You're a mean one, One Percent.
You're really a heel.
You're cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
One Percent.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, One Percent.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
One Percent.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, One Percent.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
One Percent.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.

You're a foul one, One Percent.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
One Percent.

The three words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote:
Stink, Stank, Stunk

You're a rotter, One Percent.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots,
One Percent.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, One Percent.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
One Percent.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

(Sorry, I heard this song today and I thought, "This is exactly the message the Occupy Protesters have been preaching for the last three months." ;)