Dear Congress Person:
My new E-Bay business has fallen on hard times and I need your help to secure TARP money to continue forward. So far, I have managed one sale. But of my four other bids, all are failing. Prior to 2008, I didn't have a single E-Bay sale failure. This is a new thing for me.
Recently, I voted to give myself a one million dollar bonus. As you can see, with the economy stuck in the toilet like it is, I probably won't be able to afford that bonus and continue to operate my business. But I need myself to keep this business running and since I'd probably end up leaving this company if I don't receive the bonus, it is imperative that this bonus be honored and that there still be enough capital funds to keep my business afloat.
Therefore, I am asking for a loan of $2,000,000 of TARP money to keep my E-Bay business afloat and to still be able to give my employee the bonus that he deserves. Since this amount is just a drop in the bucket for the TARP money, I suspect that approval should be forthcoming in a timely manner. I await your funding and your response.
Sincerely,
Will Robison
A Tax Paying American Citizen That Is Too Big To Fail
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Tea Party For One
Do not feel sorry for me. I am broke.
As of Friday, I discovered that I had maxed out one of my two remaining credit cards. (One, unfortunately, was shut down on me as a result of economic downturn. I had plenty of credit on that card and was easily making my payments, but the company just decided to shut down my account - mostly because I think they were close to bankruptcy at the time). Now, I've never maxed out a credit card before. Suddenly realizing that one half of your credit is gone shines a light on the fact that the party is over. And now that the booze are gone, it's time to tell the freeloading guests to go home. When I get into this situation where belt-tightening is called for, my radical brainless side comes out and I start my own little slash and burn tea party for one.
What does that mean? I'm going cold turkey. No more spending. Period. End of story. No donations. No dutch treats. No treats. No movies. No books. No nothing. If it ain't free, it ain't me.
Oh sure, some bills I don't have any option over. I still need gas and car payments and insurance and stuff. And those pesky credit cards still need to get paid. But don't ask me out for dinner any time soon (unless you want to pay) and don't expect me to be knowledgeable on current movies after this weekend. Cold Turkey! It's not just for the day after Thanksgiving anymore...
I could give you 100 different reasons for being in this situation, but the truth of the matter is, I saw this iceberg coming a long ways off and I didn't turn from it. I kept hoping that it would shrink or the current would push it aside, but that iceberg kept coming. Well, it finally hit me. And I'm finally taking on water faster than I can bail it out. I'm not ready to man the lifeboats just yet, but I am starting to sink.
Nope. I have no money. Reality has not just settled in, it's foreclosed on me. I have no choice but to stop spending money.
Of course, if there's a silver lining to all this (one that's not easily removed and sold on E-Bay that is) its that now I have a lot of time to spend getting projects done. My novel will no longer languish from a lack of attention and other projects will get the time they deserve as well. So... good timing, I guess.
As of Friday, I discovered that I had maxed out one of my two remaining credit cards. (One, unfortunately, was shut down on me as a result of economic downturn. I had plenty of credit on that card and was easily making my payments, but the company just decided to shut down my account - mostly because I think they were close to bankruptcy at the time). Now, I've never maxed out a credit card before. Suddenly realizing that one half of your credit is gone shines a light on the fact that the party is over. And now that the booze are gone, it's time to tell the freeloading guests to go home. When I get into this situation where belt-tightening is called for, my radical brainless side comes out and I start my own little slash and burn tea party for one.
What does that mean? I'm going cold turkey. No more spending. Period. End of story. No donations. No dutch treats. No treats. No movies. No books. No nothing. If it ain't free, it ain't me.
Oh sure, some bills I don't have any option over. I still need gas and car payments and insurance and stuff. And those pesky credit cards still need to get paid. But don't ask me out for dinner any time soon (unless you want to pay) and don't expect me to be knowledgeable on current movies after this weekend. Cold Turkey! It's not just for the day after Thanksgiving anymore...
I could give you 100 different reasons for being in this situation, but the truth of the matter is, I saw this iceberg coming a long ways off and I didn't turn from it. I kept hoping that it would shrink or the current would push it aside, but that iceberg kept coming. Well, it finally hit me. And I'm finally taking on water faster than I can bail it out. I'm not ready to man the lifeboats just yet, but I am starting to sink.
Nope. I have no money. Reality has not just settled in, it's foreclosed on me. I have no choice but to stop spending money.
Of course, if there's a silver lining to all this (one that's not easily removed and sold on E-Bay that is) its that now I have a lot of time to spend getting projects done. My novel will no longer languish from a lack of attention and other projects will get the time they deserve as well. So... good timing, I guess.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Reasons for my absence
I thought I'd end my month long silence here by detailing all the profound thoughts I've had over the last month. So here goes...
(Chirp... chirp... cricket... cricket...)
It's hard to write a blog when you don't really have anything to say. That's been an ongoing trend in my life of late - a move to silence. It's as if I've already thought all the profound things I'm ever going to think. I'm the new target demographic for the Boob Tube... emphasis on Boob. I've simply run out of things to say.
Now, I might be tempted to just call it quits, to hang up the old pen and go quietly into that good night. But I don't have any good ideas about how I might do that, so instead I think I'll just fade away - like an after-image on a black holes event horizon. I'm already gone, crushed, and turned into so many exotic particles, but you still see me here - a comfortable presence - and wonder as I slowly shift red in my old age how I can linger without taking the final plunge.
Or maybe I'm just waiting until I get older and can start writing blog entries about how kids these days don't know the first darn thing about music, or respecting their elders, or life in general. They're disrespectful and rude and they ought to be seen and not heard - like it was when I was their age and I had to walk uphill both ways through the snow to get to school, barefoot, and then work 20 hours straight at the mill afterwords... God, I hope I never get that old.
Or perhaps, I'm just not cool enough to have blog entries. I don't get to go on these great hiking adventures every other day and take tons of pictures.
Or maybe I'm just lazy. I may not be taxing myself enough. Perhaps I feel as if I've been taxed enough and that, for once, maybe the rich people should have the burden of being taxed.
Yeah, that's it... I'm just waiting for a rich person to take over and start writing my blog for me. It's time they pulled their weight around here.
WHAT... EVAH!
I'm out...
until I think of something else to write.
(Chirp... chirp... cricket... cricket...)
It's hard to write a blog when you don't really have anything to say. That's been an ongoing trend in my life of late - a move to silence. It's as if I've already thought all the profound things I'm ever going to think. I'm the new target demographic for the Boob Tube... emphasis on Boob. I've simply run out of things to say.
Now, I might be tempted to just call it quits, to hang up the old pen and go quietly into that good night. But I don't have any good ideas about how I might do that, so instead I think I'll just fade away - like an after-image on a black holes event horizon. I'm already gone, crushed, and turned into so many exotic particles, but you still see me here - a comfortable presence - and wonder as I slowly shift red in my old age how I can linger without taking the final plunge.
Or maybe I'm just waiting until I get older and can start writing blog entries about how kids these days don't know the first darn thing about music, or respecting their elders, or life in general. They're disrespectful and rude and they ought to be seen and not heard - like it was when I was their age and I had to walk uphill both ways through the snow to get to school, barefoot, and then work 20 hours straight at the mill afterwords... God, I hope I never get that old.
Or perhaps, I'm just not cool enough to have blog entries. I don't get to go on these great hiking adventures every other day and take tons of pictures.
Or maybe I'm just lazy. I may not be taxing myself enough. Perhaps I feel as if I've been taxed enough and that, for once, maybe the rich people should have the burden of being taxed.
Yeah, that's it... I'm just waiting for a rich person to take over and start writing my blog for me. It's time they pulled their weight around here.
WHAT... EVAH!
I'm out...
until I think of something else to write.
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