Monday, June 30, 2008

Probably Not All That Original Revelation

I'm sure someone must have noticed this before, but it was a new thought for me.

The scripture lesson on Sunday was the extremely dramatic and powerful Genesis text where Abraham is directed by God to sacrifice Isaac. Of course, Abraham follows through with the sacrifice and that's the end of the Bible... okay, only kidding on that part. God, of course, prevents Abraham from carrying out the sacrifice and we get the beginnings of Judaism and, ultimately, Christianity.

As I was listening to the familiar story, I had the usual profound thoughts. God was asking Abraham to sacrifice the one thing he most craved and Abraham willingly did so. I always wonder what the one thing I most crave is and whether I'd be willing to sacrifice it for God. Tough call - one I hope God never asks me to make. Second, I realized that Abraham must have been feeling a little bit strange - God had promised to make a nation of him and here he was sacrificing his ONE chance at that nationhood. But, of course, Isaac had also been God's promise and Abraham had laughed at the thought of Isaac. He wasn't about to make that mistake again. If God said he was going to make Abraham into a great nation, then that was what was going to happen - whether or not Isaac was sacrificed.

But then, I had a new realization. God was asking Abraham to sacrifice his only begotten son - a horrible, horrible, horrible thought for any parent out there to even contemplate. Just the thought of taking that child of yours, the one you brought into the world and raised, and placing him on an altar and then taking a stone knife and... that's where the squeamish usually stop contemplating. God was asking Abraham to do this horrible thing, this thing that nobody should ever have to do. And yet, even then, God knew that he was going to be asked to do the same thing with His own son - that He was going to have to sacrifice Jesus for the sins of us all. Only, nobody was going to stop this sacrifice from occurring at the last second - God was actually going to go through with it.

It seems to me then that Abraham's story of the sacrifice of Isaac - a story central and pivotal to three major religions - only has its culmination in one religion. Without God's sacrifice and death of Jesus and the raising of Him back to life, the sacrifice of Isaac is ultimately about a strangely cruel and sadistic God taunting his subjects to see just how much they really love him. With Jesus' death, however, the story takes on new meaning by looking to the far future and saying, one day, I will do for you what I would not ask you to do for me. I will provide the lamb for your sacrifice.

Like I said, I'm sure somebody thought of this already.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

You Don't Mess With The Zohan (2008) - 4 Wigs



Some comedies like to play it safe. They go for the safe laughs, the safe gags, the safe humor. Movies like Austin Powers, though dangerously close to the edge, still managed to not show us anything. Then there are other comedies that don't do safe. They go right for the jugular and show you things that make you feel uncomfortable and the humor comes mostly from that feeling of being out of your normal realm - I'm talking things like American Pie (you know the scenes). But to be really dangerous and still not go over the line, that's a real skill and a movie that can do that can be hilarious.
You Don't Mess With The Zohan is Adam Sandler's best comedy since The Wedding Singer, and ranks right up there with Happy Gilmore in terms of character, story, and humor. It basically tells the story of Zohan, an Israeli uber-commando who has grown tired of the war on terror and wants to go to the United States to pursue his dream of becoming a hair dresser like Paul Mitchell. That's a pretty funny premise in itself, but its execution is incredible.

DISCO TIME! DISCO! DISCO! DISCO! DISCO! DISCO! DISCO! DISCO! DISCO! DISCO!

Now, first of all, when I say that Zohan is an uber-commando, I'm not talking Rambo or Jason Bourne, I'm talking someone like Samson or Hercules. My first thought when watching Zohan in action was, "This is what it would be like if God appointed a new Judge in Israel." His power and his magnetism seemed to flow out of some unbelievable power source that is never questioned in the movie - not quite superhero, not quite normal human being either. Its rather hilarious.
Bringing this "power" with him to the United States and using it for the purposes of hair-dressing is what really gives this movie some zing. This is not just some Rambo type who wants to dress hair, this is Samson the Hair Dresser - a guy who could basically be anything he wants to be at all and he wants to be a hair dresser.
Adam Sandler films have a tendency to have a very simplistic view of the world that is incredibly sweet and innocent. We buy the view because we want to. This movie has just such a view about the middle east, but we don't mind. If only life were as simple as an Adam Sandler movie.
As you can see, I'm trying to skirt the issue of the humor in the movie. The less you know about what's coming, the better the movie will be. Needless to say there are some very funny cameos, guest stars, and other moments that have nothing to do with Adam Sandler. All of these moments delight and surprise at the same time.
I am giving Zohan 4 Wigs - a score previously only given to Iron Man this summer - because, well, I not only laughed all the way through the movie, but I keep returning to the film in my mind. This movie has staying power.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Happening - 2008 (GUEST REVIEW) - 1 Wig

The following movie review was written by guest reviewer Jay Raymond. With more reviews like this, we may just invite him back to do more guest reviews.



Mother Nature is hunting YOU!

A review of "The Happening"

by Jay Raymond

Watch out for goold old Ma Earth for she is one pissed off woman in this movie, pimpslapping humanity in the face with a good old fashoined "five across the eyes" move. M. Night is at it again trying to make us believe in the "boogey-man" again. We've faced the scary forest and the unworldy aliens but this time, it's the damn trees, bushes, and flowers. In "The Happening", M. Night presents an event where People begin committing suicide on a massive scale and our players, Marky Mark and John Leguizamo, are on the run, fleeing to avoid the wave of death while the masses throw themselves off buildings, shoot themselves in the head, and gouge out their own throats. M. Night even includes a classic "throw yourself under the giant lawnmower" move. Sadly, my disbelief failed to suspend itself. John Leguizamo's character includes a small daughter who he pawns off to Marky Mark and his squeeze so he could go find his wife. Sure...

This movie is perfect for the paranoid because the antagonist is the surrounding environment. Someone with a persecution complex will relish this movie. The trees are out to get you and the flowers are in on it. That blade of grass next to your left foot wants you and your family dead while the very wind itself plays a great monster role, reviving memories of "Jaws" except its the wind. The damn scary wind. Ooooohhhh the wind is out to get you Marky Mark...Oh give me a damn break. This movie rates a one star for absolute silliness and should be recut as a comedy. If this movie scares you, go see a shrink. Pronto. Or, get a job pruning to get back at those evil plants.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Preparing for battle

I sort of slipped in here the announcement that I would be stepping down as Lakeside Youth Leader at the end of the summer. The decision took a long time for me to make because I love working with the youth and I fought for the longest time against the obvious for that reason. But I knew as early as the beginning of last year that this would be my last year as youth leader. I can cite dozens of reasons - the most obvious being that I'm just burnt out from doing it for so many years. But the number one reason is that God wanted me to move on.

I can't explain that rationale. I don't claim to have a hot line to the Big Cheese. But sometimes, when I'm still, I can discern His will for me fairly easily. I waited until just such a moment and I prayed, "Lord, should I stop being a youth leader?" And instead of Him showing me the final days of being a youth leader and asking me the usual questions of why I wanted to quit or what will become of the youth program after I'm gone, He showed me the thousands of myriad possibilities of things I could do after I was done with being a youth leader. I suddenly felt elated at the idea of moving on and doing something new and exciting for God. The youth group, I realized, was always in God's hands and He would do wondrous things with it after I left. My time had come.

After I let the powers that be know of my decision, the number one question I was asked was - what now? I think everyone had something in mind for me, or assumed that I was leaving because I had something in mind. But, honestly, I didn't have a clue of what I am going to do next. I figured that God got me into Youth Leadership and He would get me into my next project, whatever that might be.

Of course, being human, I imagined some things I might try. But I could tell that these were my ideas, not God's, and that, as such, they were slightly half-baked. I kind of picture King David inquiring of the Lord when He wanted David to build a temple in Jerusalem and being told, That is not for you to do. I'm sure David was a little bit stunned. Not for me?! Well, who else can do such a thing?! Anyway, I knew these ideas were just idle mental ramblings. God would let me know in His time.

But, I admit, at some point, I finally had to ask. Okay, God, What now? I was surprised to get an instant answer. So surprised, in fact, that even though I knew it was from God right away, I hesitated and pondered it for quite some time. What God said, in not so many words, "You're good with food."

I admit that I've always had a soft spot for food (mostly around my mid-section ;) and I love to do food raising events for the San Francisco Food Bank, but I had never once considered taking it any farther than that. But God made it very clear to me that this was what He wanted me to do and He also made it clear to me that the sooner, the better. Considering the rising costs of food, the number of disasters that we currently seem to be enduring, and the shrinking resources available to help those less fortunate people amongst us, I don't need to be hit over the head with the obviousness of that statement.

So over the next several months, as I finish up my tenure as Lakeside Youth Leader, I will be strapping on armor around here at Icon, as I prepare for a battle of an entirely different sort. I don't know to what sort of front line God will be sending me, but I hope to be prepared wherever I go.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Yet More Facts...

America's Second Harvest Food Bank Local Impact Survey

America’s Second Harvest—The Nation’s Food Bank Network conducted a survey of its food banks April 28 through May 2, 2008 to assess challenges facing the nation’s charitable distribution system due to weakening economic conditions.

180 food banks provided estimates, based on feedback they have been receiving from their partner agencies (including food pantries and soup kitchens) about increases in the number of people in need of emergency food assistance, the ability of food banks to secure sufficient resources to meet the needs of hungry people in their communities and the ability of their agencies to meet the strong demand for food.

* 99% (98.89%) of food bank respondents stated that they have experienced an increase in the number of clients served within the past year. Food banks cite as contributing factors:
o 92.78% the rising cost of fuel
o 91.67% the rising cost of food
o 46.11% mortgage or rent issues
o 43.33% rising unemployment
o 42.22% rising underemployment
o 31.11% the inadequacy of food stamps

* The increase in the number of clients is estimated at 15% to 20%.

* 81.11% of surveyed food banks have indicated that they are currently unable to adequately meet the demand without having to reduce the amount of food or their operations.
o 54.79% stated that their agencies already have or are considering reducing the amount of food offered to clients.
o 48.63% of these food banks already have or are considering reducing the variety of food offered to agencies.
o 45.21% of these food banks responded that they already have or are considering diverting budgeted funds from other areas to purchase food.
o 43.84% of these food banks stated that they already have or are considering reducing the amount of food offered to agencies in order to meet demand.
o 27.4% of these food banks responded that some of their agencies already have or are considering reducing the number of new households they will serve.
o 13.7% of these food banks responded that they already have or are considering reducing or suspending programs and services offered.

TYPES OF FOOD NEEDED AT FOOD BANKS

Think what kinds of healthy foods you like to eat and that's just the kind of donations needed. They accept food donations of any kind from non-perishable items to fresh and frozen foods. However, what they need most are protein items, those "center-of-the-plate" foods such as:

Beans, Rice, Pasta
Canned tuna, meats, chicken
Soups and Stews
Peanut Butter
Macaroni & Cheese
Cereal
100% Fruit Juice

No homemade food or glass containers, please.

Please donate.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

More Facts...

Average weekly food consumption of families around the world
December 11th, 2007

I have been informed that these pictures were the work of Peter Menzel Photography for a piece published in Time Magazine. In each picture you get to see the weekly food intake for an average family of the country they represent.



Italy: The Manzo family of Sicily
Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11





Germany: The Melander family of Bargteheide
Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07





United States: The Revis family of North Carolina
Food expenditure for one week $341.98





Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca
Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09





Poland: The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna
Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27





Egypt: The Ahmed family of Cairo
Food expenditure for one week: 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53





Ecuador: The Ayme family of Tingo
Food expenditure for one week: $31.55





Bhutan: The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village
Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03





Chad: The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp
Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or $1.23



Pretty interesting?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Some facts

Everyone talks about how much food there is to eat on a cruise ship. But did you ever wonder exactly how much food has to be prepared? The following facts will surprise you!

* Meals: 105,000 meals prepared per week
* Desserts: 300,680 prepared per week
* Appetizers: 234,000 prepared per week
* Steaks: 69,000 prepared per week

It's impossible to go hungry on a cruise ship. There is always a meal just waiting for you right around the corner. The following facts will show you just how much we consume in one week on a cruise ship.

* Beef: 20,000 lbs.
* Chicken: 12,000 lbs.
* Pork: 5,000 lbs.
* Lobster: 1,400 lbs.
* Seafood: 4,000 lbs.
* Salmon: 2,500 lbs.
* Eggs: 28,000
* Flour: 15,000 lbs.
* Sugar: 4,300 lbs.
* Coffee: 1,500 lbs.
* Fruits: 35,000 lbs.
* Vegetables: 65,000 lbs.

In addition to all of that, cruisers consume 1,500 gallons of milk, 18,000 slices of pizza, and 8,000 gallons of ice cream!

Now that is a lot of food!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Incredible Hulk (2008) - 3.5 Wigs



When I was collecting comics, I started by first collecting my favorites. Hulk was not one of my favorites. Though I had watched the Hulk on TV as a kid, I was not a big fan of watching a big green guy go around and smash things. I like good writing and smashing things for the sake of smashing things is, well, not exactly Shakespeare - its the comic equivalent of a Michael Bay film. But, eventually, somewhere down the line, I started buying Hulk comics because they began to write stories that were interesting and had the occasional throw-down to appease Hulk fans. I still wasn't a Hulk fan, but I enjoyed the Hulk comics because of the story.

The first Hulk movie was created to please the original Hulk fans. Hulk smash. See. Isn't that great? Not so much.

The second Hulk movie, however, pleased me. It threw down an easy to follow story that made the characters interesting and gave me a rooting interest. The villain is fun to watch and the action sequences were well done. Instead of taking the character and making him some sort of artistic force of destruction, they ran the character from the point of view of Bruce Banner (like the TV show and the better written comics did) and as a result, they gave the Hulk some depth as a character and some soul. And ultimately, when Hulk smash, we root him on because we now give a damn about his character. Really. Was that so hard?

Marvel has regained creative control over most of their properties after the twin fiascoes of X-3 and Spiderman 3 because they realized that all the special effects and actions scenes in the world can't beat a good, simple, story. So far this summer, we've seen Iron Man kick butt and now The Incredible Hulk follows in its wake of destruction. This is the summer of Marvel's resurgence.

To be honest, after seeing this movie, I was a little disappointed that there wouldn't be another Marvel superhero movie until next year or 2010. It even made me begin salivating for a Captain America movie - and that's something I thought I'd never say.

If you like super heroes, even slightly, go see The Incredible Hulk. Your faith in the comic book world on film will be restored.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Anchor's Aweigh...

20 Years Ago Tomorrow, I officially joined the Navy and headed off to Boot Camp.

On this 20th Anniversary, I can think of no better way to turn anchor chains into margaritas and dress blues into Hawaiian shirts than to head off on a 10 Day cruise to Alaska. So, I won't be around for the next little while, but don't you... forget about me. I'll be fishing for salmon, running from bears, and hiking through the Alaskan gold country. Oh, and I might do a little eating.

See you all when I get back.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

The Announcement You've All Been Waiting For ;)

My fellow Americans;

It is with a heavy heart and dashed career ambitions that I must now concede in this year's race for the Democratic Presidential nomination. I fought a hard, tough, campaign, but I can see the writing on the wall and know now that Barack Obama will win the party's nomination. Though my supporter (thanks, Mom) suggests I stay in the race until all the votes are counted at the convention later this summer, I have decided that for the good of the party I will put aside my selfish ambition and my end justifies the means campaign style and concede the race. To the victor goes the spoils and for the vanquished, perhaps a nice cushy government job somewhere - maybe Ambassador to Disney World? Do they have an Ambassador? Cause, I mean, they have all those countries there around World Showcase... I could be like an Uber-Ambassador, covering like 12 countries at once...

But I digress...

I would like to call now on my other failed candidates to also step down for the good of the party and put our support entirely behind Barack Obama. Lester Grudenwald - you ran a tight race for a while there in New Hampshire, but without your own write-in vote, I'm not sure you ever had a chance of getting a single vote. Still, sticking in the race long enough to ensure that Barack Obama took your argument for water cooler reform seriously shows your committment to the Democratic process. I think you almost swayed at least one super-delegate to your cause. Maggie Dupry - you fought a hard race in Eastern Michigan and managed to get half a delegate in the process. Congratulations. You're now part of history. And, of course, how could I forget Auggie Johnson? What more can I say about the brave campaign of Auggie Johnson? Except that all of my fellow candidates have had the sense to back down and let the decision of the democratic party stand without taking their fight to ridiculous lengths for selfish reasons.

For some, I know that my sticking around in the race this long might seem like Steve Young making a furious drive late in the game when he was down 48-3 in the waning minutes of a complete turd kicker. There has never been any real hope of victory for a long time but I had hoped that my inability to quit would seem like a positive trait and not some desperate hope for a miracle or mean spiritedness, but I realize now that my time has come and that I should stand behind Barack Obama, as should all Democrats, because any other alternative would just be crazy.

And only a fool would stick around in a race that was already over.

Therefore, my fellow Americans, I hereby resign from the 2008 Presidential Race. Thank you for your support.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Fall (2008) - Three and a Half Wigs



As Jay Leno said last night, "I found out I have two things that prevent me from seeing Sex and the City,"... "Testicles." So, instead of seeing that, and having seen all the major blockbusters out there this summer, we were forced to scrounge around in the independent film market for a new cinematic experience. We originally looked at going to see Son of Rambow, but the film left the area before we got the chance. However, sight unseen and with very little advanced knowledge, we discovered a movie called The Fall, written and directed by Tarsem - a music video and commercial director most known for the big budget film, The Cell, with J.Lo. We were glad at the discovery.

The film's plot, as thin as it is, still manages to keep the film going for the entire two hour length. It involves Roy, a stunt man in the silent era of Hollywood, who is injured performing a complicated stunt. We come to discover that he is borderline suicidal over the loss of his girlfriend to the film's leading man. He befriends a young migrant worker child (played with dazzling honesty by newcomer, Catinca Utaru) and begins to tell her a story, all in a self-serving effort to get this child to steal him some morphine so that he might commit suicide. The story he tells is a child-like fantasy about a group of bandits who have sworn revenge on the evil Lord Odious and its a thin retelling of the stunt man's life and problems. As the film takes a more sinister and darker tone towards the end, all of these various elements are brought to a head and we realize that the end of the story and the fate of Roy are decidedly intertwined.

Okay... so why three and a half wigs? That's almost as many as I gave Iron Man. As a whole, this film reminded me of what a film school student might make if someone handed him a blank check. The film was in development for 11 years. The director would scout locations while doing commercial and video shoots and then get the owners of these locations to promise to let him come back and shoot there at another point for free. The end result is that this low budget film has some locations that big budget Hollywood movies could only drool over. At one point in the film, I looked up and realized that they were shooting a scene across the street from the Taj Mahal - only it looked bland in comparison to the other more fantastic and real life locations that this film had already used by that point. On locations alone, this film earned the first two wigs.

The cinematography was also incredible. The director of photography wasn't just content with having these amazing locations, he knew what to do with them as well. The opening shot of the accident scene in slow motion is perhaps one of the finest pieces of slow motion work I've seen in a long time. The film is filled with an amazing array of colors and fantastic images that for one one hundredth of the budget and without any special effects, rival the work seen in 300. The cinematography earned it another wig.

But the part that has stuck with me the most is the acting of the young Catinca Utaru - who played the part as real as you will ever see a little girl act. At no point in the movie did I ever think she was acting. (It was later revealed that through a communcations mix-up, the girl was told that the actor playing Roy was really crippled and the girl responded to that with incredible emotional depth). The script, in this case, was a real gem in that it allowed the conversations to be natural in a way that was almost annoying - just two people talking and trying to understand one another. There was a scene in the movie where the girl was being examined by a doctor (she had broken her arm falling from a tree where she was picking fruit) and she was interpreting for her mother who spoke no English. The doctor tells the little girl's mother that the little girl will recover but that the little girl shouldn't be allowed to pick any more fruit. The look on this girl's face was priceless, totally conveying the "Are you nuts! I can't tell my mom that!", while at the same time smiling and pretending to tell her mother exactly what the doctor just said. It was a brilliant scene and really well done. For the girl alone, one half wig.

Okay, that all being said, the biggest problem was with the story. It was exceptionally thin and it was filled with dialog and scenes that you just don't see in regular movies for good reason. There were several dramatic moments that just ended up being laugh out loud funny for the wrong reasons. But for all these flaws, it was still easy to enjoy this film. These film makers weren't just phoning it in for a nice fat paycheck, or trying to please impossible fanboys. This film was a labor of love and it showed, even despite its serious flaws.

If you can see this one on the big screen, go. If not, wait until you can watch it in High-Def. The visuals alone will make this worth the extra wait.

Will Rob says, check it out!